IDIOTS,MORONS,AND DUMBASSES PAGE 2

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THE BIBLE EXPOSES STUPIDITY

Let's go back in time to the bible. A wonderful and amazing book it is. It

has in it the thoughts and the mind of the all knowing, all powerful God. Of

all the things that God had put in the bible, he also gave us examples of

stupid people doing stupid things which usually led to something bad or

worse happening to them. There are many examples of this in the bible,

but there is one that REALLY sticks out to me. And this one strikes me

as a man being SUPER STUPID!! In the book of Numbers starting at the

22nd chapter, we read of a man named Balaam. Now let me give you some

background on Balaam. Balaam was a "prophet" (A false hearted one)

that believed in God's power but was so greedy that he would do anything

to make some money. This includes using his knowledge of magic, for

he also was a magician/sorcerer.

The nation of Israel had just defeated the Amorites in battle and they

were camped along the Jordan river, across from Jericho. The king of

Moab (who is named Balak) had seen all that the Israelites had done to

their enemies and he was very scared for he knew he would meet the same

fate. So Balak decided that he needed to curse the Israelites. His thinking

was that since he knew the Israelites were blessed by God, he thought he

could have a curse put on them and they won't be able to attack him.

Now stop and think about Balak's jacked up thinking. You know that THE

TRUE GOD is blessing the Israelites and they are being blessed by him.

But yet you think that you CAN HAVE A MAN OVERRIDE THE BLESSINGS

FROM GOD BY CURSING THEM!!!!

Is he freakin nuts?

I think so.

Let's move on from one idiot to another.

Balak then sends for Balaam to come to him so that he can curse the Israelites.

Balak's men come to Balaam and tell him that Balak wants to see him so that he

can put a curse on Israel. And they bring with them money for Balaam's services.

So Balaam tells them to stay with him for the night. Now I want to quote Balaam's

EXACT words. After he tells the messengers to stay the night, he says " AND I

WILL BRING YOU BACK THE ANSWER THE LORD GIVES ME" (Numbers

22:8)

Already the stage has been set for a foul ball to be hit. But now it's about to be

hit to deep left. (Meaning somebody is about to really screw things up badly).

In Numbers 22, verse 9, We see that God comes to Balaam and asks him who

are the men with him. In verses 10& 11, Balaam tells God who these men are and

why they are here with him. In verse 12, God says to Balaam NOT TO GO WITH

THE MEN AND NOT TO CURSE THE ISRAELITES FOR HE IS BLESSING THEM!

The next morning Balaam tells the men he can not go with them because GOD

TOLD HIM NOT TO GO WITH THEM. (Verse 13)

So they go back to Balak and tell them what Balaam said. Now Balak is desperate.

He knows that unless he does something he too will be defeated by the Israelites.

(In my opinion what this clown should have done is to realize that the God of

Israel is much more powerful than my god so maybe it would be a good thing

to change my life and get rid of my fake gods and join them. Hmmmmm......)

So Balak sends them AGAIN to Balaam WITH MORE MONEY. And again Balaam

tells them that he will only tell them WHAT GOD TELLS HIM TO SAY! (Verses 18&19).

That night God comes to Balaam and tells him to go with the men but only do what HE

tells him to. (Verse 20)

The next morning, Balaam gets up and loads his donkey up and goes with the men of

Moab. By doing this, Balaam makes God mad so God sends an angel with a sword to

block his path. (Numbers 22, verses 21,22). When the donkey sees the angel of God,

with the sword in his hand, the donkey turns off the road into a field. Balaam gets mad

at the donkey and beats it to get it back on the road. (Verse 23)

Later on, the donkey went down a narrow path between two vineyards with walls on each

side. And again the angel of The Lord blocked it's path. So the donkey pressed up against

the wall, crushing Balaam's foot. And again Balaam beat the donkey. (Verse 24)

Now the angel moved ahead of them to a point where there was no room to turn left or

right. When the donkey saw the angel for the THIRD TIME, it just sat down and did not move.

Again Balaam gets mad at the donkey and he beat it. But this time something different

happens. God opens the donkey's mouth to TALK TO BALAAM. (Verse 28).

God, speaking through the donkey, asks Balaam why does he keep on hitting her? Balaam

TELLS THE DONKEY that "You have made a fool of me these three times and if I had a sword

I would have killed you by now" (Verse 29). The donkey then asks Balaam if it had ever done

anything like this before? Balaam says "No" to the donkey. (Verse 30)

Then God opens Balaam's eyes and Balaam sees the angel of The Lord standing there with

the sword in his hand, ready to strike him down. (Verse 31) The angel then tells Balaam that

he should have not beaten the donkey and he was sent to block Balaam's path for his course

is a foolish one and if THE DONKEY had not turned away the three times then THE ANGEL

would have had to KILL BALAAM BUT LEAVE THE DONKEY ALIVE!!! (Verse 33).

Now, I don't know about all of you but if my donkey suddenly starts talking to me and it tells me

what I am doing is wrong, then I am going to listen. But the first thing I am going to think is: What

the hell is my donkey doing talking? And why the hell ain't it talked to me sooner? And then to

have a talk with my donkey? And not think that nothing is wrong with me talking to my donkey?

And to think that my donkey even asked ME questions about what was going on? Good sense

would have told me that I am fouling up and I need to change course. Good sense would have

told me that since MY DONKEY told me what was going on and IT SAVED MY LIFE 3 TIMES,

just maybe I better turn my dumb ass around and forget about Balak.

The same holds true for today. If my cats G-Rock and/or Asia suddenly started TALKING to me

about something I was fouling up or about to foul up on, you better believe I will listen. And I will

ask the same questions that Balaam's stupid ass should have been asking. (Come to think of it,

I think Asia did "say" something right before I stuck the fork in the toaster to free a piece of toast

that did not pop up and it shocked the hell out of me. Asia was behind me when the whole thing

happened. So she knew I was about to foul up. Why can't cats speak english!!!!!!

O.K. I am through with Balaam. I just wanted to show you all that stupidity goes back, even to the

days of the Bible.