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GLOSSARY OF TERMS

In reading this book, you will come across some terms and words that you
will know and some that you don’t know. So I have decided to list them both
here so that you will know what I am trying to say.
 

MY OWN STUPIDITY

Before I go into other people’s stupidity, I better start with my own. I don’t
claim to be a rocket scientist or a perpetual genius. (Though Wylie E. Coyote
claims to be a “Super Genius”. And speaking of the Wily One, I have a special
part in this book titled “ Wylie Coyote and stupidity” coming up. Watch for it
for it will be controversial yet funny). I do claim to think with good sense and
a hell of a lot of common sense. I don’t care how many years of school you
have or how many degrees you have, if you do not have common sense and
good sense, you are a idiot. You will do some things that will have those of
us who do have common and good sense wondering “What the hell was he
or she thinking when they did that?”

I have noticed that some people who are highly educated hit the biggest foul
balls of all. Notice that I said some people who are highly educated and not
all people who are highly educated hit the biggest foul balls. There are some
of you who are very educated that have and use good& common sense. Then
there are those who are well schooled that do not use common& good sense
We down here on the scale have a name for them: EDUCATED IDIOTS. (And
trust me, I will get into this topic in detail!!!!!)

Back to me. Let’s now look at some of my own stupid moments.

The first one I can remember was at age 9. It was the summer and I was running
around the hood’ without no shoes on in Queens, New York. I came across a bee
(Yellow Jacket) on the ground that was somehow wounded. So what did my dumb
ass do with no shoes on? I stepped on it on purpose.

Why the hell did I do that? WTF was I thinking? To step on a bee with bare feet on
purpose.

Well, Mr. Bee stung the hell out of me.

And I cried.

And cried.

And cried.

I bet you all now I’ll never step on another bee in my life bare footed.

Let’s go to age 10. We had this old blue radio that the back of it was gone. So one
day while messing around in the basement where we slept, I knocked it off the
ledge which it sat on. As I picked it up, I just happened to look in the back of it
and saw a nickel caught in the back of it. Thinking of the 5 pieces of candy I could
buy, I reached into the radio to get the nickel.

Should have never done that right then and there.

What my stupid ass SHOULD have done FIRST is UNPLUG THE RADIO!!!

I was let known about this mistake when I got the hell shocked out of me.

It shocked me so bad that the first thought that came into my mind when I dropped
the radio to stop the shock, was being in a freakin cartoon where you see someone
get shocked and they light up. (Think I saw Daffy Duck get bolted &jolted like that).

But you know, I got my nickel. And my candy. Just was the most painful nickel I
ever earned.

Moving on to age 11.

I was in the front yard of our house just finishing up fixing a flat tire on my bike.
Suddenly I hear voices from about ½ block away and I look up and see this group
of girls walking by. In this group was a girl that I liked. My mind went into hurry up
mode and instead of tightening up the 2 nuts on the front wheel of the bike, I just
put the wheel on and hopped on the bike and rode real fast to catch up to the girls.
When I caught them, I started riding around them talking crazy and trying to show
off my biking skills.

As I was riding by them one time, I lifted up the front end of the bike to ”pop a wheelie”.

Bad move. Very bad move.

Remember them nuts on the front wheel of the bike my dumbass was in a hurry to NOT
TIGHTEN UP?

They came back to haunt me.

As I lifted up on the front end of the bike, the bike came apart from the front wheel and
me and the rest of the bike fell backwards, with the bike landing on me as I landed in the
middle of the street on my narrow ass.

All the girls saw the whole thing happen and they howled with laughter. Including the one
that I liked. And to add insult to hurt, the front wheel started rolling down the street, and
the street that this happened on just happened to be a hill. So I had to pick myself up and
the bike and to then chase my front wheel down the street, all the while the girls are laughing
their asses off.

So what’s the moral of this story? Simple.

Don’t be a dumbass by showing off.

This next part of my life I am not proud of. But I will tell it here because it is high stupidity.
Just after I turned 15, I started drinking alcohol and smoking dope. (Marijuana). I was with
people that I liked and wanted to be like them and wanted them to accept me. So I started
drinking and smoking pot too. For the next 11 years of my life, I did the 2 drugs a lot. Was
always either high or drunk or both.

The stupidest thing I remember doing when I was high was lighting a joint IN CLASS AND
TAKING A HIT OFF IT!!!! I was so out of it that day that I did not think that I could be thrown
out of school for the rest of the year for doing something stupid and crazy like that. Lucky for
me the teacher was so busy trying to get papers graded that he did not know. (Though before
this he sent me out of class two times for being high.)

At this point I would like to tell you all that I started having blackouts from too much drinking
and drugging and towards the end of the year 1991, I blacked out while driving and woke up
in someone’s yard in a bad part of town at 3:30 in the morning. It scared me so much that I
decided to STOP DRINKING AND SMOKING DOPE COLD TURKEY!. AND TO THIS DAY

I HAVE NOT TOUCHED ANY DRUG OR ALCOHOL! 16 YEARS CLEAN AND SOBER. Now

I get high off of running long distance.

Some other stupid things that I have done or have happened to me:

Getting shocked by the toaster. (Never use a fork to free a piece of toast).
Getting shocked by a Ms. Pac Man video arcade game. (NEVER grab the red wire coming

off the monitor).
Being pulled over by a policeman for speeding…ON MY BICYCLE!!!
MY cell phone falling into a pan of used oil. Lesson learned here: DON’T TALK ON THE CELL
PHONE WHILE CHANGING THE OIL IN YOUR CAR.

Dang I could write for days on this subject. So let’s just cut things off here for now. I will tell more

as I write more.
 

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