IDIOTS,MORONS,AND DUMBASSES

ALOWACK AND STUPIDITY

If you remember earlier, we discussed some of the possible causes of

being a FI. Now we shall add some more to those possible causes. The

reason why I am writing this separate from the earlier causes is because

this subject is one that cannot just be made mention of. I have got to go into

this subject deep. (And this is just the first topic of “substance stupidity”)

But first things first. I feel I need to explain to you all what is “ Alowack “.

For those of you who never heard of the word Alowack, it is a term that comes

from the streets. It is the result of taking parts from the words ALcOhol, Weed,

and crACK and putting them together to form the word Alowack.

For our purposes here in this book, I decided to put all three together as one

category because drinking TOO MUCH alcohol usually leads to stupid things

happening. And doing ANY ILLEGAL DRUG is stupidity in one of its highest

forms.

But before I go into Furheads like Michael Marks of Los Angeles, California

who was on trial for attempted murder, used the defense that he was drug

crazed at the time when he did the crime because someone on a balcony

above him had spilled PCP on top of his head and it must have affected his

thinking. (Needless to say this Freakin Misfit was found guilty). Or how about

Joel Fish of Oueensbury, New York who was arrested for burglary and

criminal mischief after he broke into a FUNERAL HOME AND FELL ASLEEP

IN A COFFIN! It was later learned that he had been out drinking and he drank

too much. Let me again tell about my own Alowack moments. (Minus the crack

for I was never dumb enough to try it).

How about the time my dumbass lit up the joint in class because I was so

stoned? Or how about the time after I helped a friend clean a building one

night we then went outside and got drunk and then we walked home. The

next morning when I went to go to the store, my car was not there. Then my

mind figured out that I DROVE TO THE BUILDING and forgot I drove. I had

to walk back to the building to get my car. Let me also mention that it was in

January that this happened and I hate cold weather. (Thinking back on this,

it was a good idea that I had walked home because I was drunk and did not

need to be driving at all).

So you see even those of us that have good sense and know how to use it have

had our stupid moments with Alowack. But the following stories of people on

Alowack makes you want either laugh or shake your head in disbelief at their

stupidity.

Let’s start with Delshawn Prejean of Jacksonville Florida who was arrested

when he let as a tip for a waitress in a Starbuck’s a small amount of marijuana.

Say what?

Now this CAL (Clown Ass Loser) had enough MONEY to pay the bill but not enough

SENSE to leave money for a tip. So what does dizzbat do? He leaves DOPE as a tip.

Moving on to Joel Crytzer of Butler, Pennsylvania who was arrested for possession

of marijuana when he was stopped by police for driving his car with only 3 TIRES.

Police pulled him over and found the dope on the floor.

Or how about this BAM. (Big Ass Moron). Kory Tippetts of Orem, Utah calls the police

station to report that his marijuana was stolen. Police somehow recover his dope and

call him to COME IN AND IDENTIFY IT! So what does Kory do? He goes down to

the police station to identify his dope. And what does the police do? They arrest his

stupid ass for possession with intent to sell.

The denseness of Kory stands out so much that I have to comment on it. You actually

go down to the police station to identify your own illegal drug? What the hell was he

thinking?

He definitely was not thinking like a MENSA genius. More like the other end of the

scale from the MINAB (Man I Need A Brain) club.

But Clyde Pace II of Des Moines Iowa outdoes Kory. Clyde was in the lobby of the

courthouse getting ready to go to court on a drug and driving charge. As he went

through a metal detector, he was asked to take everything out of his pockets. Well

this Dingbat did and out came a bag of marijuana. Pace then tried to run but he ran

right into a closed revolving door. Chief Deputy Bill Vaughn said: “It was funny to us”.

It was so funny that when Pace’s lawyer got there later, people were still laughing about

It.

All the above stories have the same thing in common. That is, that Alowack and stupidity

are twins. They run neck-to-neck, hand-in-hand. We have read earlier that you can be a

FM (Freakin Misfit) without using any part of Alowack. But we now see that when you use

ANY part of Alowack, the chances of you hitting a foul ball to deep left (Meaning the chances

of something going really wrong) goes up. And in some cases way up.

For those of you who think I am a FNC (Freakin Nut Case) for writing about this subject, you

are right. I am one. But there are MUCH BIGGER FNC’S out there than I am. And Alowack

seems to intensify the intensity of their stupidity.

Let’s look at more cases where Alowack has made dumbassedness worse.

Charles Morris and Gregory Quick of Buffalo, New York was arrested when they went through

a KFC drive thru while smoking marijuana. After placing their order and going up to the drive

up window to pay for it, They rolled down their window to pay for the food, letting a cloud of

pot smoke out. Two detectives just happened to be at the counter ordering food and they

smelled the dope. So they went outside and arrested the pair for drug possession and also

for smoking it in public.

Stacy Steel, who is the former executive director of the Oceanside, California Humane Society

was arrested for fraud for using the organization to buy 3,600 pills of the prescription pain killer

Vicodin, which she said was for her dog. (That must be one big ass dog, Stacy!)

Matching Stacy in the dumbass department, we find a man that was working off a community

service sentence at the St. Paul, Minnesota police dog school was caught with 6 small bags of

marijuana on him by one of the police dogs. His excuse for doing this idiotic ass action was that

he was going to smoke them after he got off work.

You all know I gotta talk about the last story.

And here it comes.

WTF was this JLJ (JackLegged Jackass) thinking? Now, you are on probation and working off a

sentence at the police dog training school, and you decide to bring in some dope to work with you.

He KNEW that the place he was working at and for TRAINS POLICE DOGS TO SMELL OUT DRUGS!

But yet this "genius" thought he would be a Wylie and try to outsmart the police dogs. Did he not think

that the police dogs who ARE TRAINED TO SMELL OUT DRUGS would not SMELL THE DOPE ON

HIS FOOL ASS? Why do I think now that him and Wylie E. Coyote have a lot in common? Hmmmm…..

Let’s move from a FI (Freakin Idiot) to a DAFI (Dumb Ass Freakin Idiot).

This next story about Alowack defies ALL the laws of good sense. Of ALL the stories I have

collected over the years about people doing dumb things, this one is in my top 3.

A court in San Mateo, California sentenced ATTEMPTED methamphetamine maker Daniel Zeiszler

to 5 months in prison and 3 years of probation when he tried to GET MORE METH FROM HIS OWN

URINE AFTER HE SMOKED THE DRUG!!! Instead, he spilled some solvent on his arm and then

took a smoke break, and caught his hand and arm and the whole hotel room on fire.

Say what????

Now this HACK (Half Assed Crazy Kook) done smoked up all his dope and he thinks that he can

get MORE dope from his own pee. Do you need me to tell you what a JUD (Jacked Up Dumbass)

this idiot was? And then he set himself and the hotel room on fire. This story is THE PERFECT

EXAMPLE of why some people do not need to do drugs.

You now see what Alowack can and will do. My advice to all of you: Be smart and stay away from

Alowack. (A little alcohol is fine.) Cause if you don't, sooner or later stupidity will catch up to you.

Remember this page and the people on it. Don't think it can't happen to you when you do Alowack.