CRIME AND STUPIDITY

In the last section titled “Alowack and Stupidity”, you saw how doing too

much alcohol or illegal drugs of any kind can and will lead to something

stupid happening. We all know that the possession and/or taking of the

illegal drug is…well….ILLEGAL! So we will now continue on that theme

of law breaking. Only we will now focus on those who break the laws of

the land. And in the process break the laws of having good sense.

It seems like criminals, in their infinite wisdom of planning to do the crime

seem to forget about one little thing: That in their best laid, jacked up plans,

SFS (Something Freakin Screwy) is bound to happen. The reasons for this

are many. Bad planning on their part, lack of planning, unforeseen things

fouling their bad plan up to name a few. Let’s not forget the fact that the crook

may be a screwball in the first place. And if a screwball thinks that he can plan

a perfect crime and get away with it, then he’s a freakin nut.

I now will present to you proof and truth that the criminal world has more than it’s

fair share of WAD’s. (Wingnuts And Dingbats)

In Lee’s Summit Missouri, Marcus Stallings and Darren Tyler were arrested in a

McDonald’s restaurant and charged with attempted robbery and armed criminal

action. The two were caught when an employee went to use the bathroom and

saw them in there loading a gun with bullets. The pair asked the employee when

the manager opened the safe to count money. The employee said he would go

ask the manager and he left the rest room and told the manager what had

happened. The manager then called police, who came and arrested them.

Now let me see if I can get this one straight. You go into a place to rob it but you

first have to go into the bathroom OF THE PLACE YOU ARE ABOUT TO ROB

TO LOAD YOUR GUN! Then while there an employee comes in and YOU ASK

HIM when the manager opens the safe to count money. He does not know so you

SEND HIM AWAY TO GO ASK THE MANAGER WHEN HE WILL OPEN THE

SAFE SO YOU CAN ROB HIM!

The dumbassity of their stupidity is ridiculous.

Let’s move on to more HAL’s. (Half Assed Losers)

Police in Redlands, California had a real good time with these 2 clowns.

These idiots actually helped the police catch THEMSELVES! Albert Engelsman

and his accomplice Matthew Montanez stole a Mustang car and then TOOK

PICTURES OF THEMSELVES WITH A DISPOSABLE CAMERA THAT WAS

LEFT IN THE CAR! And if that was not stupid enough for you, these knuckleheads

then LEFT THE CAMERA WITH THE PICTURES OF THEMSELVES IN THE CAR!!!

After they left the car, police found it and developed the pictures and charged them

with grand theft auto and possession of stolen property.

I thought the main idea to get away with a crime was to NOT let the police know IN

ANY WAY, that you did it. But Albert and Matthew isn’t the only DIM’S (Dumb Idiotic

Misfit’S) that let the police know about their crime.

In Kelso, Washington, Gerald Levertt Mack was arrested and charged with first

degree burglary and residential burglary when Mack had posted a note outside

his house that read: “Do not open door& let anyone in! Stolen stuff visable”. A

witness saw Mack rob his house and told police.

Let’s go to Menomonie, Wisconsin where Anthony Allen Scholfield was sent to prison

for one year, and then 10 years probation after pleading guilty to stealing 854 pairs

of women’s underwear. And get this: THIS WAS THE SECOND TIME HE WAS

CAUGHT DOING THIS!!!

I can think of a hell of a lot more things better to do than steal 854 pairs of panties. But

I guess ledneck Anthony couldn’t.

Continuing with the theme of screwballs who have too much time on their hands, we find

Tyrone McMillian, who was arrested after a high speed chase through 3 New York cities.

When police finally caught him, he told them that he thought he could get away because

he had been playing a lot of “NASCAR and Grand Theft Auto” on Playstation.

There must be something wrong with me here. I play this game where you fly a spaceship

through outer space and have to shoot down alien ships. But I never had the urge to take

the Space Shuttle and fly it into outer space and look for aliens to shoot.

I think I need my head examined. But only after Tyrone goes first.

Joshua Abeyta’s turn now. Joshua was charged with arson in Thornton, Colorado after he

(Allegedly, as of this time) set fire to the Grand Auto Pontiac dealership, causing $300,000

in damage. Abeyta later told police that he was not mad at the dealership but he was angry

at his mother, who drives a Pontiac.

Some people have some jacked up issues, don’t they?

Remember what I said earlier about no matter how well a criminal plans the crime, SFS is

bound to happen? And one of the reasons why may be because of unforeseen things”

happening? Well, let’s look at a tale about this very thing.

William Bluder (Add the letter “n” after the “u” in his name and you get the word “blunder!)

of San Jacinto, Texas was arrested for armed robbery but tried to escape by diving head-

first into some bushes outside a convenience store. What this Dingbat did not see was that

behind the bushes he tried to dive through was a brick wall.

I think he will have a long time to think about his stupidity nursing a big ass headache while

he’s sitting in jail.

So as we all can see by the stories of jackassery above, criminals and good sense just ain't

connecting. But we do see that crime and idiocy is very much happening. So one way to keep

your good sense (And to stay out of jail) is to not be a loser and commit a crime. Remember

if you do commit a crime and something gets AJU (All Jacked Up), I may be able to write about

you on this site. (See the FOUL BALLS section.)

You don't want me to do that, now do you?

I didn't think so.