Articles Of Taxation

They say 2 things are for sure: Death and Taxes.

I say too many taxes can cause death!!!!

" Paying more taxes than necessary is legalized robbery "

O.K. everyone I have to fess up. I hit a foul ball to deep left when it came to

doing my taxes. What my dumb ass did was to just send the W-2's in to the

government and let them figure out my taxes. Since I was working so dang

much over the past 7 years, I really didn't have the time to do them. So I

thought that I would just send them the tax forms. Well guess what? The

government does not do your taxes for you!!! I found this out the hard way

and now I have a tax bill I don't like. But whose fault is it? MINE!!! Again I

say my dumb ass should have filed, not just send in the tax forms. Oh well,

bet I file from now on! Of course this is not funny or humorous to me. Because

of this, I.R.S. stands for I'm Really Stupid! (That's me in this case!!!)

I don't mind paying taxes. It's just that I do mind paying TOO MUCH taxes.

I know that taxes are good for keeping the military up, street and highway

repairs, paying for our public servants and employees and good things like

that. But I do mind paying for stupid things like lying to go to war, foreign

dictators that end up jacking us in the end, giving aid to countries that want

to blow us all to hell and back, fighting a drug war (still!) that we have lost,

and so many other idiotic things my tax dollars go to pay for.

So this is how your Webmaster Ed strikes back at paying high taxes. I

came up with these Articles of Taxation and I KNOW that I will get replies

to this, good and bad. (If you want to let me know about how dumb I was

about not filing....save it. Ms. Dorothy let me have it with 4 barrels!)

Please feel free to send in an "Article" if you wish. (Proper credit will be

given)

1. You have the right to be taxed....PERIOD!

2. We have the right to tax you....PERIOD!

3. If you have any complaints, refer to #1 and #2.

4. If you complain about the high taxes you are paying, we will listen to

your gripe and still tax you anyway.

5. Any money you earn IN ANY WAY is taxable. Even if you earn it illegally

it is still taxable. If we find out that you bought anything from your illegal

earnings, we will seize it and sell it. Then we will tax you on the proceeds.

6. Anything& everything you buy, we can tax you on. Your car, home, boat

motorcycle, TV, computer, etc are fair game. Keep in mind that these taxes

come AFTER we have taxed you on your paycheck.

7. Refer to #1.

8. We can spend your tax dollars on anything we see fit to. You can do the

same but the difference is that when WE spend YOUR tax dollars, we don't

have to pay taxes. But when YOU spend your money, we will tax you. (Goes

with #6 also)

9. Yes you pay taxes all year long, but if you don't pay the amount of taxes we

have predetermined that you should pay at the end of the year, you get to pay

us even more.

10. Canada has a tax named "The GST TAX". It stands for "Goods and Services

Tax". It is so disliked that it was nicknamed the "Gouge and Screw Tax". Well

Canada, this American knows how you feel. The American tax system is not

any better.

11. Refer to #2.

12. When you owe us money, we want it as soon as possible. And the longer it

takes you to pay us, the more we will charge you penalties and interest. But

if we owe you any money, we have the right to take our time in giving it back to

you. This is so we can make more money off the interest, and not give you any!!!

13. If you die and owe us back taxes, we will come after the property you left while

you were living, which you already paid taxes on, to settle your account. But

since we have determined that you did not pay enough while you were alive, we

fee like you can pay us what you owe when you're dead.

14. And if you have anything of value on your body when you die, we can lay

claim to that too to settle your bill with us.

15. Your living relatives will get what's left after we get ours. Then we may tax them on that too.

16. The taxes that you pay on your bills (Phone bill, Cell bill, Cable bill) every month is the

same money that we already taxed you on. Thus, we get to jack you twice.

17. Refer to #1&#2.

18. Even though you pay taxes all YOUR life, whatever you pass on to your kids are subject

to being taxed too. And if you don't have anything to pass on to your kids that's O.K. with

us. We will just wait until they are old enough to work and then start taxing them too.

Thus we will always get ours, from generation to generation.

19. We have made a tax code that is so hard to understand that you have to pay a tax

professional to make sure you pay us all that we are due. Then WE tax that person

on the money YOU pay him/her. Thus YOU pay DOUBLE for something WE created.

You pay taxes according to the complex tax code we created, and you pay someone to

make sure you pay us enough taxes from the complex tax code we created.

20. If you are a rich person paying taxes, we have fixed the tax laws to favor you. Why

is that? Because we who made the tax laws are financially well off too. So what you

save in taxes we save too. We do have to cover our own tails, don't we?

21. We give those of lesser means less to deduct while we give those of more means

more to deduct.

22. Sure we will give those of you with lesser means some deductions. But will you

be able to get ahead and stay ahead with those deductions, or will you use the money

you may get back to catch up on bills which you had a hard time paying for all year

long....All year in which we taxed you on?

23. If you win something or if you win money, we will tax you on those things too. And

if whichever you win puts you in a higher income tax bracket, we get to tax you AGAIN!

24. If you save enough money in your bank account and you earn too much interest, we

will see to it that you are taxed on that interest. Keep in mind that the money you are trying

to save to earn interest on is money that we have already taxed you on.

25. And who in the hell is FICA and why do I gotta keep paying him every paycheck???

26. The local taxes you pay are after we get ours. And they too can be used for all kinds

of jacked up unnecessary things. Case in point: Here in Kansas City, Missouri, 2 houses

valued at $46,000 were remodeled by the Kansas City housing authority. They spent

OVER $600,000 ON THESE 2 HOUSES REMODELING THEM!!!! And both houses, when

fixed up could only sell for under $125,000 due to the property values in that neighborhood.

27. Refer to #'s 1 and 2.

28. If you are caught doing something illegal and it involves us not getting all that we are

owed, not only will we seize all your property and your bank accounts, but we will then

apply them to what we think you owe us. Then we will add on penalties and interest. And

we will also throw you in jail for income tax evasion. And when you get out of jail, you still

owe us.

29. Simply because you pay off something (Your car or your house) does not mean that

you own it. What really happens is that you no longer make payments on the car or the

house. But you do and ALWAYS will have to pay taxes on it for as long as you own it. So

in reality, you NEVER really outright own it for as long as you have it. That is because if

you do not pay the amount of taxes we determine you owe EVERY YEAR, then we get to

take it away from you for failure to pay taxes on it.

Please feel free to send in an "Article" if you wish. (Proper credit will be given)

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